the best gift ever

all i want for Christmas this year
is Jesus

Jesus wrapped in a nice box with a
big bow
the new super-power Jesus with the the
kung-fu grip
that can decimate my enemies (or those who steal my parking spot) before me
the one with the water-to-wine lazer vision
. . . so i can drink some wine
. . . because i'm baptist and if it comes
from Jesus-from-the-box
then it must be ok

but the best thing about my
new Jesus


is the off switch

no one wants that

no one wants to be like jesus.
no one here at least.
no one who walks into walmart.
or gets food from a drive thru.

david and paul were right.
there are none who seek after god.
all have turned aside and become worthless.

me too.
you too.
yep.


geez.

bare

simple acts define us

one willing to sit
and be waited upon

one willing to wash
dirt and sweat clean

simple acts show

who we are when we are
bare

evade

the will of man confuses me
the will of religious men smothers me
your will evades me

omg

o my god
i am done
wiped out and spent
tired
and depressed
broken

broken

gather me
to yourself

because i need you

your love

your acceptance

this feels like being
forsaken

and i dont care
if im forsaken

by everyone
except you

but i need you

o my god

i c a n t

youre going to think i made this up
that its not real

not about me

but

it is

and it needs to be expressed.
bc im sick of everything
and thats not hyperbole for effect

im completely

b o e

r k n

my insides charred
by my sin
(yeah thats real)

i c a n t
r e c a n t
i c a n t
(rinse and repeat)

wanna be whole
complete
healed
restored

but

i c a n t

and i know it
have known it
for years

and

j e s u s c a n

and i know it
have known it
for years

(its no mystery)

yet im completely

b o e

r k n

and damned to trust in grace
(god i hope this works)

faded

iron no where to be found
too proud to seek

dull

bland

am I dying to serve
or dying for another excuse

do i give until it hurts

am i a light on a hill
or simply a faded reflection

A haiku for Brian

lonely searching for

a poem by my friend Bri

so sad still alone

better unspoken

here's an old one...mainly because i'm busy and i despise lonliness

in a word or two
our dreams and promises
die forever to our eyes
as a subtle reminder
that we are the liars
we claim that we are not
we speak the better unspoken
as our hypocrisy grows
more consuming
more blatant with the disparity
between what is said
and what is shown

hydrophobe lovesong

the trickle tickles my toes
ebb and flow
but the current constantly
drags me out to sea

and i would drown
every day
if i had the chance
or the time
and not much else

id wade out into the swell
exhale
and dive in
mindless of dangers

as my breath escaped
my eyes would behold
the distorted beauty
of the sun above

and when rescue came for me
id be grateful
and know better
and do it all again