the best gift ever

all i want for Christmas this year
is Jesus

Jesus wrapped in a nice box with a
big bow
the new super-power Jesus with the the
kung-fu grip
that can decimate my enemies (or those who steal my parking spot) before me
the one with the water-to-wine lazer vision
. . . so i can drink some wine
. . . because i'm baptist and if it comes
from Jesus-from-the-box
then it must be ok

but the best thing about my
new Jesus


is the off switch